She's JV to your varsity
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
