Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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