I showed him my bush... on skype.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
