I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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