She is in my trunk
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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