then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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