i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
