My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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