Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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