OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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