you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
