You made me cry and you don't even care
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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