How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Are these your boobs on my camera?
His nipple licking is glorious
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