I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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