Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
