Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
