Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
