Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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