Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
