I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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