I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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