his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
