Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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