we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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