What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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