i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
