Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
