You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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