Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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