You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize