dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
