you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
