man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
