just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
