Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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