have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just cut my nipple shaving
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
