So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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