If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
