I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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