I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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