We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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