im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
