I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
