So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
