I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my being single is dangerous.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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