WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize