ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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