I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
