Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me