I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask