Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you high?

  (510): View more from California

  No. That's why it's odd

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  (510): I think I speak chipmunk. Odd. (702): Are you high? (510): No. That's why it's odd http://tfl.nu/ybok
  Replies (5) Good night (2241) Bad night (633)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

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  (720): Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open." http://tfl.nu/m5a9
  Replies (26) Good night (5185) Bad night (563)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  did it start talking like on Land before time?

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  (518): i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur (413): did it start talking like on Land before time? http://tfl.nu/4v1u
  Replies (12) Good night (4046) Bad night (632)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I think you may want to look into that...

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  (519): someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement" (403): I think you may want to look into that... http://tfl.nu/qglv
  Replies (5) Good night (934) Bad night (2867)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height

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  (780): The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height http://tfl.nu/mxot
  Replies (9) Good night (4727) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight

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  (780): I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/0wae
  Replies (2) Good night (1625) Bad night (802)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Make one for john too.

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  (310): I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake. (1-310): Make one for john too. http://tfl.nu/lihh
  Replies (3) Good night (1290) Bad night (1529)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.

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  (989): Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door. http://tfl.nu/7hia
  Replies (4) Good night (1343) Bad night (619)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life

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  (513): you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life http://tfl.nu/50v2
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (530)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real

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  (603): Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real http://tfl.nu/3eg3
  Replies (2) Good night (984) Bad night (292)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing

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  (403): the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing http://tfl.nu/cpea
  Replies (9) Good night (1386) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.

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  (917): I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over. http://tfl.nu/bs45
  Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (304)
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  (315): View more from New York

  not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.

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  (315): not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/mw0m
  Replies (10) Good night (1016) Bad night (251)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..

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  (845): You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship.. http://tfl.nu/vijk
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.

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  (720): Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms. http://tfl.nu/n4o1
  Replies (0) Good night (868) Bad night (203)

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