Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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(707): View more from California

He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

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(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos

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(812): View more from Indiana

They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.

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