Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice