Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.