I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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