i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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