i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
