I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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