Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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