just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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