He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
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I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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