he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
