garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
