so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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