Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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