She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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