I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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